Archive for November, 2010

Smashing


26 Nov

I’m so frustrated by all the aggression that Nathan has these days, with most of it directed at Toby. They sometimes play nicely together, though Nathan will often get frustrated and upset with Toby’s attempts at helping since they always result in knocking over/breaking whatever Nathan is trying to build/make. This I can understand and attempts can be made to reason with Nathan or keep Toby away.

What I don’t understand is the random displays of aggression, and I really don’t know the best way of dealing with it. These days ‘smashing’ is the thing to do. He smashes toys together, he smashes things by hitting them with his hands hard, he smashes into people by launching himself at their legs and he smashes food. Lately Nathan has started hitting Toby hard on the head, with or without a hard object in his hands.

Before the smashing became a big thing Nathan would occasionally bite us…Andrew, Toby or me. When asked why he did it, he’d say that he “just wanted to eat you”. This hitting on the head results in the same problem as the biting….a crying baby holding his arms out to be picked up and comforted, a nearly 3-year-old who runs away smiling, and an angry mother who generally picks up the baby and yells at the older child. Actually, these days I’m trying to talk to Nathan about what he’s doing to others. So the angry mother picks up the laughing boy and plonks him on the couch, telling him to stay there, and goes back for the crying baby. Of course the boy thinks it is a fun game to get off the couch and run away, so mother and baby have to catch up with him and carry him back to the couch. He doesn’t want to be there and chat about what he did to Toby, so he keeps trying to get off the couch, while the mother forcibly holds him on the couch. This results in Nathan crying and any discussion between mother and child then becomes impossible as the boy wails his distress. Today I finally got him calm enough to talk about what he did, and when asked why he hit Toby he said, with a smile, “I just wanted to smash him”.

The worst of the aggression happens after around 3 pm, so I assume that much of it is due to Nathan being tired…or at any rate it is worse because of tiredness. Still, going back to giving him afternoon naps wouldn’t help (in my opinion) because he gets much less sleep overall when he naps during the day and that just makes him almost constantly tired. That’s why we gave up his day sleeps in the first place. I’m also assuming that this is yet another stage that we just have to weather and make the best of, as far as possible.

Nose antics


26 Nov

Nathan has only occasionally shown interest in putting things up his nose, though after today’s antics he might be cured for good!

Nathan loves picking up sticks. Today, on our way back to the car after our playgroup in Hawthorn, he picked up a small gum tree branch that had loads of small gumnuts on it. He got into the car and waved it around, hitting Toby on the head a couple of times, at which point I told him that it would be confiscated if he did that again because it hurts Toby. I broke it down to a much smaller size and let him have the stick back, and he stopped waving and started picking the gumnuts off the it.

I strapped Toby into his seat and then went to strap Nathan in, just in time to see him about to put a gumnut up his nose. I told him not to put it up there. I wanted to take the stick away from him, but Nathan cried and I took the route of least resistance and let him keep it.

About half way home, and just as I entered the freeway, Nathan started screaming and crying. I looked in my rear vision mirror and saw him slapping his nose and sticking his fingers up there as he screamed. I asked him if he had put a gumnut up there, and he said he had….though his crying. I told him not to stick his fingers up there and to try to blow his nose to get it out. He snorted and snuffed, cried and cried. I told him there was nowhere to stop on the freeway and we were nearly home, so I would drive as fast as I could to get him to a doctor. There seem to be a heap of medical centers in our area.

The crying stopped and Nathan calmed down just before we reached the medical centre. I couldn’t get a clear answer from him as to whether it was still there or not, so I took him to the doctor anyway. It was a very subdued Nathan who presented at the medical centre where it was pronounced that the gumnut was no longer there. I asked him if he would put anything up his nose again, and I got an emphatic “no!”.

Ownership


25 Nov

Heard from the back of the car through Toby’s unhappy grizzle….

“Toby can’t have it [the drink bottle] because it’s mine. I own it!”

Egg revisited


18 Nov


He’s done it again….egg in the same place, perhaps not as large. The lump hadn’t even completely disappeared after last time.

Just because


17 Nov

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At times it seems as if every word coming out of Nathan’s mouth is ‘why?’. Other times it is every second or third word, or he uses it to turn our answers into the next question. He uses it so much that he considers it his word. If we ever ask him ‘why?’, he will tell us not to use that word because “it’s my word!”.

Sometimes it is really hard to answer all the questions. I try very hard to answer them all without resorting to “it just is” or “just because”. In fact, I very rarely say either, though the temptation is great, particularly when the questioning goes something like….

Why is today Wednesday? Because yesterday was Tuesday. Why was yesterday Tuesday? Etc, etc, etc.

Nathan is a great fan of the phrase ‘just because’. I try to tell him that it isn’t a satisfactory answer, but a 2-year-old can’t be told, and Nathan thinks he knows all the best answers!

We were making a salad for dinner tonight, and I was mixing in some dressing.

Nathan: what’s that?
Me: salad dressing
Nathan: why are you putting that on there?
Me: to make the salad taste nice.
Nathan: why do you make the salad taste nice?
Me: because we like eating it more when it tastes really nice.
Nathan: why do we like eating it more?
Me: because we like eating yummy things.
Nathan: why is it yummy?
Me: I don’t think I can answer that, I don’t know what to tell you.
Nathan (helpfully suggests): just because

Sleep


17 Nov

Getting my little boy to sleep has been almost as difficult as it was with my bigger boy when he was a baby. I spent a lot of time and effort on trying to get Nathan to sleep when he was a baby, and trying to get him to go to sleep without my assistance, or with only a little assistance. I couldn’t come at ‘sleep training’ though, so we just persevered with methods that seemed to work best at the time even though all methods were very hands-on.

I haven’t worried about Toby’s sleep anywhere near as much as I did with Nathan. This is partly because I wasn’t planning on going back to work when he was a baby, so I wasn’t constantly worried about how someone else (without milky boobs) would get him to sleep, and partly because Nathan needed to get out and run every day and we just got into the habit of Toby spending most of his day sleeps on my back.

So, it was with great surprise that Toby went to sleep on the floor about a week ago, with me just patting his back. Toby loves to put his head on a pillow and lie down for a few seconds, just like Nathan used to. But unlike Nathan, Toby seems to be able to relax enough without a breastfeed to go to sleep. He did the same thing last night…put his head on a cushion on the floor, so I lay down beside him and rubbed his back, and again he went to sleep!

I’m just hoping this ability to relax continues and sleep is something he learns to achieve relatively easily.

New White Goods


10 Nov

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Our little fridge had been bugging me for a long time. It had a capacity of something like 300 litres including the freezer, and while that sounds a lot it really wasn’t when there are four people in the house. I usually do the veggie shopping once a week, and afterwards the fridge would be filled to capacity. That wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t for the fact that it tended to freeze things when it was full, and so we always wasted money by throwing out foods that were spoiled by the freezing. So I was quite excited by the idea of getting a big fridge when we moved into this house.

Andrew suggested that we also buy a washing machine and dryer. True, the house didn’t have a dryer, but then I don’t use them very much in general. We also had a washing machine that worked, so I was a bit resistant to buying a new one of those too. I caved in though, and the first weekend we had the keys to the house we headed off to see what sort of a deal we could manage to get for the products we decided that we wanted. We added to the purchases a few days later when Andrew rang up to get a dishwasher included in the delivery.

The items all came a few weeks ago now. I think that both Andrew and I were surprised at how our monster fridge seemed to dominate the kitchen, but we are getting used to it. The dishwasher sat in it’s packaging for over 2 weeks but it is finally installed now. We had to pay someone to do it because we couldn’t get the cupboard out to create the space for it. It looked a simple job to remove it, but we didn’t know it was screwed, nailed and glued in, and we didn’t have the tools to deal with that.

I think that all purchases have been good ones. The new washing machine is amazing and really has made me realize that the old one was not washing particularly well, and is so big that I don’t have to wash every day (I even fitted two bath sheets, two normal
sized towels, a bath mat, two hand towels and some nappies in one load….that was two loads in the old machine). The dryer is fine, but hasn’t been used much yet, and today when out shopping I bought watermelon without worrying about whether the fridge would freeze it, or whether it would fit. The dishwasher had it’s inaugural load last night, so I didn’t have to spend all my spare time washing dishes in-between dealing with a wakeful baby.

I don’t know what the world is coming to when I’m excited by buying white goods!

Black eyes


07 Nov

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The day before we got the furniture delivered, Nathan was running around the empty house and fell over. He hit his forehead on the lounge room window sill as he fell. He immediately got a huge lump at the site of impact…it really looked nasty.

In the days that followed he got swelling around the bridge of his nose, and black bruising around his eyes. Some 4 weeks on, he still has a bit of a lump on his forehead and the bruising around his eyes is finally disappearing.

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