I never, ever imagined that I would be homesick for Sydney….but I am.   There were many, many good reasons for moving to Melbourne, but that hasn’t stopped me longing for the beautiful city of Sydney and my friends there.

I miss the convenience of living in the inner city area.  So many places that I frequented were very close by, with some being just waking distance away.  I miss the wonderful Sydney Park, that had so many different things to do there.  The playground is one of the best I’ve seen anywhere, there were ducks to visit with eels and turtles to be seen in the water as well, there was a little traffic area for kids on bikes complete with traffic lights and roundabouts, and of course lots of open space.  Newtown cheap(ish) eating was just a few minutes in the car, and the ocean beaches were only 15 minutes of driving away.  Eh, I even miss the little 1 bedroom flat that was so light and bright where we saw aeroplanes and sunsets through the foliage of the gum trees, even though we had well and truly outgrown it.

I miss my wonderful Monday group of parents (mostly mums but one dad) and kids, who met up at Sydney Park that has a fantastic playground.  My Friday group was also great, but in a different way.  The Monday group all had a similar approach to parenting, but my Friday group was made up of women who all have similar aged children, having all been loosely associated with a Mother’s group when our first kids were babies.  We certainly had different approaches to parenting, but were all lovely people.  And then there is Mel and her daughter, Sarah.  I met Mel when Nathan was just a few weeks old.   Sarah is just 5 days younger than Nathan.  We became friends pretty quickly, and have met up on a regular basis over the last 2.5 years.  Mel is also a member of the Friday group, but we would generally meet up on a Thursday as well…just Mel, me and the two kids.

Nathan has a little chant that he yells at top volume when he is tired and when he wants to wake a sleeping Toby when in the car….the volume is almost unbearable in the confined space of the car.  He yells “Mummy, Daddy, Nathan, Toby, Sarah, Mel” over, and over, and over again.  As far as Nathan is concerned, these are the people he loves most in the world, because these are the people he has spent the most time with and knows best.

This chant nearly brings me undone every time.  Nathan loves both Mel and Sarah, and so do I, and it brings me to tears to think about how much we both miss them.  It’s not just missing them for the things we did together, but also the knowledge that we will miss the eventuation or not of their hopes and dreams.  I won’t be there to celebrate moving into their new house.  I won’t be there when (hopefully when) Mel is pregnant again.  We won’t share in the growing up of our little families other than from afar.  All these thoughts bring me to tears.

I can’t say that I have been particularly excited about this move to Melbourne.  Intellectually I can appreciate so many great reasons for relocating, but emotionally it has been so much harder than I thought it would be. Yes, it has only been a week so far.  Yes, I do have some friends here already though they are not just around the corner and I find traveling hard and tiring with two kids.  And yes, I will probably make more friends with kids.  If anyone else tells me not to worry, that I’ll make more friends through the kids, I think I will burst from wanting to say that I have friends and they can’t simply and easily be replaced.  Great friendships are born from years of shared experiences, and there will never be a way to replace those who have been with me through my first years of parenting.

I am sure that the fact that I dislike the rental we are currently staying in doesn’t help with the homesickness at all.  The stained carpets, the cheap and nasty items within the house (it’s furnished) that make cooking and cleaning difficult.  The vacuum cleaner that barely sucks, the washing machine that leaves fluff on all the clothes, the bedrooms with that musty old house smell, the shower that barely fits a single body inside (to wash my hair I have to stand on the diagonal so that my elbows fit in), and the horrible beds.  At least it’s all temporary.  There are good things too….a heated roof over our heads, the big back yard and being less than 3 km from Andrew’s workplace.

I think this move to Melbourne is going to be a good thing for us as a family…..but right now it just doesn’t feel much like it.

And now, just because Nathan insisted that I also put this photo into my blog……